Balance to me was getting up at 4am, working 12 hour days, telling myself I was fitting everything in like a super mom and falling asleep while putting my kids to bed a 9pm. While I loved everything I was doing, "balance" is not doing it all. So most of 2017 was spent trying to figure out what that meant. I did not want to give up anything, but I knew I needed to change something. It was a year of ups and downs and while there were some things worth celebrating, I am actually pretty excited to be putting this year in the books. Because balance got the best of me.
Too much wine. Oh that is balance. I needed a break.
Working too late. Yep. Gotta keep it balanced and work hard.
Skip that workout. Oh balance. I need to rest.
Not enough rest. Balance. I need to get up early.
Can you see the cycle? Balance was making me crazy. And doing all the wrong things.
Half way through the year I noticed how trying to do it all was wearing on me. My clients were doing amazing but I was failing. I was up at 4am checking in on them, but not myself and my family because that is the only time I could "fit it in". I was up at 10pm making dinner for the girls when really the perfect dinner was not what they needed. I was leaning on wine and chocolate to soothe my discomfort and searching daily for that "quick fix" to feel more balanced. I had fallen backwards to my old self-sabotaging habits.
What I learned was I needed to stop the balance. And truly balance doesn't really exist. What does exist is the ability to prioritize and do a few things REALLY well. I needed to stop scheduling every second and take a second to breathe. Because I am super type A and somewhat of a perfectionist, this is REALLY hard. I pulled back on my business. Switched jobs (which after 12 years with my previous company was a big change) to give myself and my family more flexibility and just existed for a while...which to me meant slowing down. I honestly felt like I was failing and walking through mud for about half the year because I don't do slow well. The trick was trying to figure out how to do a few things right. I said no to a lot and started making a point to turn my phone off, sleep a little more and disconnect. This created a little clarity and space to think. The girls and I now have a play date every night after dinner. I don't get on any electronics after 9pm and I have re-done my entire morning routine to focus on me first. I can take care of a lot more people when I am at my best. At the end of 2017 I am happy to say that life slowly has become more like a life instead of a to-do list.
To be honest, it doesn't feel just right yet, but we are getting there. Slowly but surely I have been re-vamping schedule and learning to find time to share my passion for coaching and have a career, be a mom and wife all at the same time. It is in no way easy or balanced, but in the long run, 2017 has taught me, you absolutely cannot do it all and I am done trying.
Going into 2018 I have one mantra. Simplify. And here is how...at least for now!
1) Focus on myself. Eat to nourish my body.
My dependency for food for stress relief has always been a struggle and the only way I will get back to where I need to be is to put myself first. As I mentioned I have re-vamped my morning routine to work for me and my family. I'll be sharing these changes along the way! I am sure I will need the support! Remember, you are better to everyone else when you are at your best.
2) Don't try to be everything to everyone.
As I mentioned above, I have been trying to figure out how to keep my passion for coaching alive with all the other items on my plate. I have worked to launch a brand new coaching package the last quarter of the year, with the goal to spend more focused time with my clients who want the help and not trying to reach the masses. I am focused on helping those of you that want the help. More time one on one time with you which leads to a better use of time for me. And talking one on one is truly my favorite part of the coaching process. So it is a win for everyone. ❤️
This also applies to continuing to say no. I always try to remember the rule. Saying yes to something means saying no to something else. So choose wisely.
3) Take more vacations.
We love to travel. And since having the girls traveling has well let's just say been challenging. Sometimes getting away for a weekend means going to Costco for a few hours (not kidding!) lol. The girls are getting older and mom and dad are getting braver (or just stir crazy). So this year I want to experience new things as a family but also as a wife and a mom and a friend who is a lover of adventure. Travel inpsires me SO much.
4) Less is more.
I have a habit of following fashion bloggers on Instagram. It is my guilty pleasure. So is strolling through Nordstrom and Athleta. I love all the outfits and Pinterest boards and boots and leggings. I then move onto the food bloggers. Who have the perfect snacks and dinners. And all those amazing kitchens and cute household decor. But what I have found is I don't need a ton of things. It might be that I am just getting older, but I keep finding that I would rather have a few really nice things than a closet full of stuff I don't use. And that goes for everything. Kitchen / household gear. Clothes. Shoes. House Etc.
My end goal is to create a capsule wardrobe and a pretty minimal household. (Let's be clear I still have pillows for every season and that won't change, but I will make sure I use them!) I have been slowly working on this over time, but this year I am going to finish it!
5) Read more. Soak it in.
Last year one of the wins of the year was spending 10 minutes a day reading an actual book and listening to podcast or Audible every morning. I can count over 20 books I have finished this year and I can truly say it has changed me to the core. If you do one thing this year, try this. It is a tiny habit that is life-changing. I have a book list in the works to check back later this week for a preview! This goal I want to continue!
6) Have fun.
I think 2017 lost its fun for me and became a long list. So while my type A personality has a lot of lists and schedules to keep me sane, I actually need to schedule some downtime and am working to schedule more, disconnect and just want to have some fun....laugh, giggle, smile. It might be as simple as making snowmen with the girls later this afternoon, a hockey game date night or going on a new adventure with family or friends. Whatever it is, I hope to laugh and smile a lot more in 2018.
I hope this inpsires you to think a little bit this year about what you really want. And remember that taking time for yourself is not selfish. It only makes you that much better to others.
Wishing you a magical New Year's Eve, a fresh start and an amazing 2018! Thanks for being on this adventure with me!
